I Am

The sum of my experiences

Rusty Alderson
3 min readAug 19, 2019
Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay

I am from gentle women with a soft touch
Women who wrestled with weak men
Women whose spirit and vision
Rose above anger and jealousy to anchor my faith

I am from the weak men
Who let their ego and hubris
Determine their actions as they
Heard a relentless drumbeat
Of worthlessness, never “getting a break”

I am from the kindness of strangers
Strangely more kind than family

Image by Koltrein from Pixabay

I am from the curiosity of cats
And the obsequious groveling of dogs
A feline affinity with a canine psychosis

From a worship of nature and a
fascination with the sky
And all things in it

Image by ArtTower from Pixabay

I am from a vision of airplanes and spaceships
Seeing stars and constellations
Clouds, birds and butterflies — especially birds

From flying like a bird in dreams to escape
From a vortex of potential never to be realized

From skydiving when the chute did not open
Or so it seemed

From forever being frightened by my shadow
Reminding me of my father within me

From fear of being too kind, not tough
From hearing “big boys don’t cry” and
Believing I was already a failure at age ten

Image by Valentin Sabau from Pixabay



Rusty Alderson

Retired technologist — eschewing cubicles; habitual observer; perpetual student; philosopher; poet; essayist; advocate for nature and wilderness.